


Pick your head up king, your cowboy hat is falling off

by sketchypotato



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Happy birthday Madara, i call this Operation Let Madara Realise He Has Friends And Be Happy, i dont think its very shippy tho the madaan can probably be read as platonic, its MaM repaymentfes homies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 10:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18849625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketchypotato/pseuds/sketchypotato
Summary: It’s quite fascinating to watch, really. Madara’s heard that Rei and Leo have been stirring things up within their units, to the frustration of their other members, which is very much like them. And even Ryuseitai has been facing some internal strife as the academic year comes to an end, even if Chiaki and Kanata aren’t directly involved in it,  in fact he can see that Chiaki is trying very hard not to get involved in it. Struggling for the sake of friendship, isn’t that what youth is all about? It isn’t his place to get involved, since he doesn’t belong to those units, but Madara wishes his friends the best.As for Madara himself, well, MaM has no juniors to speak of.





	Pick your head up king, your cowboy hat is falling off

White Day. A day of giving back, of returning the love that has been granted to you. For Yumenosaki in particular, there is the Repayment Festival, a time for juniors in a unit to show their appreciation for their graduating seniors. The school is bustling with activity, as juniors prepare their performances, as seniors scramble to fulfill their last few promises before they leave the school, as tensions rise and students clash and tears are shed, but it is ultimately all done out of love.

It’s quite fascinating to watch, really. Madara’s heard that Rei and Leo have been stirring things up within their units, to the frustration of their other members, which is very much like them. And even Ryuseitai has been facing some internal strife as the academic year comes to an end, even if Chiaki and Kanata aren’t directly involved in it, in fact he can see that Chiaki is trying very hard _not_ to get involved in it. Struggling for the sake of friendship, isn’t that what youth is all about? It isn’t his place to get involved, since he doesn’t belong to those units, but Madara wishes his friends the best.

As for Madara himself, well, MaM has no juniors to speak of.

He’s not complaining, it’s a choice that he made for himself to be in a solo unit. And considering how much trouble his friends are going through in their own units, it’s probably for the best. Knowing himself, whatever parting message he would try to impart on his successors would just end up hurting them, as he is prone to do. After all, isn’t it troublesome to be tied down? To be unable to run off at a moment’s notice because he might leave someone behind? The world is so big, so vast, so full of people that needs his help, and it is always easier to travel solo.

That’s what he tries to tell himself, but something still nags at him, something he tries hard not to think about. Has nothing changed? A whole year has passed and he is still an outsider, an observer to the strife, unable to affect it. Still distant, as much he seems to connect with others during festivals, as much as others have tried to forgive him and welcome him into their circle, almost giving him hope, and yet looking at everyone running around him makes him feel like little has changed. It’s almost

Lonely.

“Mikejima-senpai, you’re in the way.”

He’s too lost in thought, aimlessly walking through the school’s hallways, to notice the pile of boxes moving right towards him. A glance at the pink sleeves holding up the boxes, and he breaks into a smile. Now’s not the time to dwell on such gloomy things, not that it ever is, but especially not when it’s time to face his cute “childhood friend”.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaa Anzu-san! I can barely see you behind all those boxes! Let Mama help!!”

“No, I’m fine,” replies Anzu, except that she sways slightly as she says it, the top few boxes on the pile threatening to fall off at any moment. Madara grabs hold of the top few boxes anyway, lifting them off the pile to reveal a pouting Anzu.

“Mama wants you to rely on him more, haven’t I said that before? Cheer up, cheer up! Mama will help you to bring these boxes to your destination! Where are you going?”

Anzu sighs, but she doesn’t try to argue further as she adjusts the remaining boxes in her hands.”We’re keeping them in the storeroom on level 2. They’re decorations for the upcoming Repayment Festival,” she says, leading the way as Madara follows.

“Oh? Is Anzu-san producing for the Repayment Festival after all? I heard that Trickstar isn’t taking part?”

“They’re not, but not having anything to do is boring,” replies Anzu with a yawn. “I’m helping out whatever unit I can with the preparations to make up for it.”

The yawn is suspicious, and so are the dark circles under her eyes, but Madara isn’t in the mood for a lecture. Besides, she’s already been told time and time again to take care of herself, and she _has_ been taking on less jobs. 

“It’s fine if you’re just bored, but make sure you don’t overwork yourself! Remember that you can always rely on us idols too.”

“Hmph, I already told you that I’m just bored. I’ll be fine. There’s not much I’m assigned to do since Trickstar isn’t performing.”

“Aaaaaah, how nice. Everyone in Trickstar is in the same year, so there is no need for tearful farewells, and all of you can leave the school together ~☆.”

Anzu doesn’t respond for a moment, but then she smiles. It almost makes him jealous, that even Anzu, for all her worries, has a place to belong. They’re not so similar after all, despite what he said during Halloween, (or maybe that drawing that comparison in the first place was just wishful thinking), and that even if she isn’t _officially_ part of a unit, she still has a group of friends that would call her one of their own.

A group that doesn’t include him, of course.

“How about you, Mikejima-senpai? It’s the last Dreamfes of the year, are you going to take part?”

“Hmm~? Well, MaM is a solo unit, and Repayment Festival is focused on a units’ juniors giving thanks to their seniors, isn’t it? So there isn’t really anything for me to do, because I don’t have any cute juniors who care enough about meeeeee.”

He says the second part overdramatically, purely as a joke of course, even if that heavy feeling start to creep back on him, but Anzu slows down he steps, glancing sideways in concern.

“That’s not true. You have Arashi-san and Adonis-kun and Mitsuru-kun from your club, they care about you.” A pause. “And there’s me.”

 _You shouldn’t say that, not when I’m still lying to you,_ he wants to say, but the year isn’t over, and he can’t afford to break the childhood-friend act just yet. Instead, he forces a smile and goes “Aaaaaah! Is Anzu-san finally warming up to me? Mama is happy to receive her love!”

Anzu dodges the hug, which is more of an awkward attempt at a shoulder nudge when both of his hands are full with boxes. Just as well that they’ve reached their destination too, as they busy themselves with arranging the goods. It’s admirable how hard Anzu works, even if she could afford to cut down a little, but Madara enjoys seeing her content with a job well done. The boxes are sorted in no time, and Anzu dusts off her hands.

“You know, Mikejima-senpai…” she begins, but then she pauses and shakes her head.

“Oh? Anzu-san? What is it what is it?”

“It’s really nothing,” she mumbles, but she seems slightly embarrassed, and moves towards the exit. “But,” she pauses at the door, “Mikejima-senpai, you always say that you’re ready to come to anyone’s help, but don’t forget that there are people here for you too.”

It catches him off guard to have his words thrown back at him like, and for the moment he is unable to respond. Anzu blinks at him once, twice, and decides that this pause is too awkward and quickly takes her leave, Madara giving a small wave as she goes. It occurs to him a moment later that he probably should have sent her off in his typical loud fashion, but it’s too late for that, and he scratches the back of his head.

There are people here for him too, huh?

 

* * *

 

“Mikejima-senpai?”

Madara does a spin as the last few notes of _Festive!_ play from the CD player, landing with a flourish and a pair of finger guns aimed at Anzu, even adding in a wink. He doesn’t _need_ to practice for anything, since MaM has no upcoming performances, but it’s always good to stay active, and you never know when a festival may come up! Anzu, of course, looks unamused at his pose, but that just makes him want to tease her more, as it always does.

“Mikejima-senpai.”

“What brings you here, Anzu-san? Do you have something for Mama?”

Anzu tightens her grip on the documents in hand as she enters the practice room, and she presents them to him with a determined look on her face. It’s a live proposal for MaM, complete with a costume design and set list, although Madara doesn’t recall asking her to work on anything.

“A live proposal? What’s this for?”

Anzu looks away, slightly embarrassed. “I thought your last performance in Yumenosaki should be special, and you still have fans who will sad to see you go. So I did this up. I asked Shinkai-senpai for advice too, to suit you better. You don’t have to perform it, since there’s only about a week before the Festival, but… You’ve helped me a lot this year, so I want you to have it." She looks back up at him. "Take it as my Repayment Fes gift to you."

Madara is, quite simply, stunned. He looks at the proposal in his hand, then back at Anzu, for once at a loss for words. Anzu looks at him expectantly, and he doesn’t know what to do.

The thing is, he _is_ touched. He is so touched it makes him want to cry, or pick up Anzu and hug the life out of her. But he can’t do that, he doesn’t _deserve_ to do that when he’s receiving gratitude for a lie. Yes, he stopped trying to use her after the Restoration Live, and perhaps the support he’s been giving her is has turned to more than just guilt, but

A lie is a lie, and he can't be forgiven for it.

"Thank you, Anzu-san," he says, voice uncharacteristically soft, and Anzu almost look concerned at that until he flashes her a big smile. “Mama would’ve have been happy just seeing your smiles, but I truly appreciate it! Please thank Kanata-san too! I’ll think about your proposal.”

Anzu smiles, relieved, and Madara finds it difficult to smile back at her. “Let me know if want to perform it, I may already have materials ready for the costume,” Anzu scratches her cheek sheepishly.

“Yup! Don’t you have other work to do too, Anzu-san?” laughs Madara, ruffling her hair. “Don’t work too hard ok, you can finish the others first.”

Anzu rearranges her hair with a pout. Indeed, she has taken some other work to do, though she assures that it’s not much, and as she leaves Madara reads through the proposal again. It’s detailed, it _does_ suit his tastes, and he can feel the care that was put into it. Didn’t Anzu say that Kanata helped on it too? Another person that he cared about, and failed. Another person’s thanks that he doesn’t deserve.

And maybe worst of all, worst of all, it makes him happy, happy to be appreciated like this. Deep down, he still wants to be loved, but he pushes those feelings back to the bottom of his heart. He’s not sure if he meant for such things just yet. Will he take up Anzu’s proposal? He can’t decide, if only because he knows she’ll be upset if he didn’t, but there is still time to think. For now, he puts in safely in his bag, and starts _Festive!_ on the CD player again.

 

* * *

 

He doesn't deserve it, that's what he tells himself. Getting close to others will only hurt them in the end. He couldn't save Leo, he couldn't save Kanata, he couldn't save Anzu either, so what is the point?

Yes, Izumi can take care of Leo, and Chiaki is more suited to help Kanata, as much as it pains him to not be his hero. And Anzu has Trickstar, and the rest of Yumenosaki on her side.

He can't be the hero they need, and so they've found their place without him. And that's ok, because it's for the best. The lone ranger is left to roam once more.

 

* * *

 

“Hmmmm? What was rogue like as a child?”

Anzu nods her head fervently as she feeds Shinkai-senpai another slice of soy-sauce-doused sashimi. The food offering is usually unnecessary, but Shinkai-senpai had been noticeably grumpy ever since the fountain had been covered in decorations for the Repayment Festival, preventing him from soaking in it, and Morisawa-senpai had made it clear that allowing him to soak in the pool instead in this cold weather was unacceptable. So she has to compromise, sitting with Shinkai-senpai beside the fountain, trying to cheer him up enough to answer her question.

Shinkai-senpai frowns, and is silent for so long that most would assume that he had forgotten the question. But Anzu has dealt with enough strange characters during her time in Yumenosaki, and so she waits, adding more soy-sauce to the plate of sashimi in her hand.

“He was [noisy].”

Shinkai-senpai furrows his brows further, and Anzu can’t help but laugh, because _of course_ that’s how you would describe Mikejima-senpai. Not that it helps to jog her memory of their supposed childhood together, unfortunately, but Shinkai-senpai seems satisfied with his answer, leaning his back against the fountain with no indication of wanting to say more. She feeds him another slice of sashimi

“So he was the same as he is now?”

“No… He has changed…” says Shinkai-senpai slowly, chewing on his food. "He is more careful now..."

 _If this is how he is when he's careful, then I can't imagine how he was before,_ thinks Anzu, but Shinkai-senpai looks serious as he thinks. She's heard rumours about Shinkai-senpai’s past, nothing too detailed and many so unbelievable she's not sure what to trust, but she imagines what kind of childhood it would've been. Maybe it was only natural that someone as larger-than-life like Mikejima-senpai would be part of it.

“I met the [rogue] because of his family,” continues Shinkai-senpai. “But sometimes he would come to play with me without his family. He would bring magazines and toys, too.”

“...Of cowboys?”

“No,” although Shinkai-senpai smiles at that. “Of [idols]. And [heroes].”

“But,” he sighs, “he was a [bad] boy. The adults chased him away, but he came back, again, and again. He is pushy, isn’t he?”

Anzu nods, imagining a child version of Mikejima-senpai dodging adults and climbing through windows to play with Shinkai-senpai. Knowing him, it seemed plausible. “It sounds like he cared a lot about you, to keep coming back.”

“Is that so…” says Shinkai-senpai, a far-away look in his eyes. “It may not always look like it, but he is truly kind-hearted. Maybe a bit too much." He sighs. 'Sometimes I do wish… I was nicer to him before…”

Anzu feels the same too, when Mikejima-senpai keeps helping her without asking for anything in return, but, “Hmph, but he _is_ annoying, we can’t let him get away with that too. Sometimes scolding is necessary.”

“Hehe, Anzu-san understands. That’s why we are his [childhood friends]~”

The sashimi is finished, and Anzu swirls the soy sauce sadly as she realises that she hasn’t come any closer to remembering her childhood with Mikejima-senpai. No memory of loud and pushy boy, or at least not any she was close to. It’s not Shinkai-senpai’s fault, but it’s frustrating nonetheless.

“Why are you asking about the rogue, Anzu-san?”

Why does she want to know so badly? It feels important somehow, like a connection between them to explain his kindness, a way to explain why she deserves it. Because it feels ungrateful for her to benefit from something she can't remember.

“Well, he’s going to graduate soon, but I still can’t remember our time together as kids.” Anzu sighs. “And yet… he's still helped me a lot."

Anzu thinks about the contacts he helped her to get during Halloween. She thinks about the live when she was in hospital, and how he somehow understood her deepest fears. She thinks about the monkey show and him wishing her the best for the SS, and the comforting words to show his support. So much that he has helped her for that she has yet to repay.

"I was hoping that if I could remember, I could repay him in some way for that.”

“But what you want to thank him for is the [now], isn’t that so?“ Shinkai-senpai tilts his head with a smile, petting her head with a free, but somehow damp, hand. His head pets are always calming though, so Anzu lets him. “You’re a good girl, Anzu-san. The rogue will be very happy.”

“Hmmmm, it’s the least I can do,” says Anzu, relaxing as she is petted. “Actually, are you free now, Shinkai-senpai?”

“Repayment Festival is in two weeks, but I cannot help Ryuseitai right now,” replies Shinkai-senpai solemnly. “Are you asking for my help?”

Anzu puts away the empty plate, taking out a pen and notebook in its place. “You want to thank Mikejima-senpai too, right? Maybe you can help me with planning this live for him, since you know him better.”

She can see how Shinkai-senpai is trying to pout, but his eyes light up. “The rogue doesn’t need my help but... I will help because Anzu-san asked me to.”

He takes the pen.

 

* * *

 

It's a good thing that MaM's performance was scheduled to the very end, thinks Anzu, as she heads towards the shopping district. It's not really part of the Dreamfes, but rather a bonus show she had to convince Mao to let her slide in at the last minute, so it is a bit annoying that the star of the show was uncontactable. The Ryuseitai seniors had said that he'd be at the Takamine's greengrocer shop, with Shinkai-senpai sending her off with a smile and a few cryptic words of encouragement, and she hears his laughter before she can actually see him, carrying a box of carrots as he jokes with Takamine-kun's parents.

"Mikejima-senpai!"

Mikejima-senpai's smile falters for a second as he turns to face her call, and she takes that moment to hit him with a paper fan.

"Anzu-sa-OW! What are you doing here, Anzu-san?" says Mikejima-senpai, trying to fend off the fan. "Weren't you helping out Ryuseitai? Or producing for Sakuma-san? DEADMANZ?"

"I've already watched most of their performances, and now it's nearly time for yours, come on. The venue and sound are all ready for you!" She's already grabbed hold of his hand, and Mikejima can only put down his box gently and say a quick apology to the Takamines as he is all but dragged out of the shop and towards Yumenosaki. He's surprisingly compliant, running after her even when she knows he could stop if he wanted, huge strength and all.

"It's truly a surprise that you would come just to get me, Anzu-san! But I was not planning to perform today."

"Huh?" Anzu suddenly stops, and turns round to face him. "But weren't you excited to do the live this morning?"

"Well, maybe I was! But Ryuseitai needed my help, you see~ I had to let Chiaki-san and Kanata-san join their children, and a lot more fans would be disappointed to not see them perform than if it was me!"

Mikejima-senpai seems to be smiling, but there is also something unreadable in his expression as she stares him down.

“There’s still a lot of people who want to see you too, Mikejima-senpai,” says Anzu seriously. “Not just MaM’s fans but… When I told them about the live, your friends said that they will come to support too.”

Anzu reaches into the bag slung over shoulder, taking out the costume that she made for this live, and Mikejima-senpai is quiet as she puts in into his hands. “And, it might be selfish of me, but I want you to see the live that I produced for you, too. It’s not much, but let me repay you, Mikejima-senpai, as your childhood friend.”

He’s silent again, looking at the outfit in his hands, and Anzu is starting to get worried. Had she said something wrong? It’s not like him to be so quiet at all, but then he looks back up at her, a pained smile on his face.

“I’m sorry Anzu-san.”

She doesn’t understand.

“I lied to you. We weren’t close childhood friends, and we only played together as children a few times. Of course you don’t remember me.”

“I was using you, you know? After all, you’re part of Trickstar, the miraculous unit that managed to topple _fine_! So I thought that by pretending that we were close when we were youger, and getting closer to you now would help me get revenge on them, because I couldn’t forgive what they did in the war. Isn’t that terrible? Everyone has already moved on, and here I am dragging others into my grudges! Even lying to you and making you all worried for nothing, and you want to thank me for that?” Mikejima-senpai laughs bitterly. “You should just leave me be, Anzu-san.”

It’s a lot to take it, when Mikejima-senpai is smiling all the while as he says it, a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. But that isn’t the first thing Anzu thinks about, neither does she feel much anger or sadness about it, but instead what she feels is

Relief.

Relief that she hadn’t forgotten someone important, after all. And it sort of made sense, because it’s not hard to believe that his memory is a lot better than hers, even if they met briefly, and he still knew things about her as a child. So that mystery is also solved. It almost makes her smile.

“Anzu-san… Why are you smiling? You can hate me all you want, you know.”

“No,” Anzu shakes her head. “I don’t hate you. You never did use me or Trickstar to take down fine after all, did you? Even till now, at the very end.” She sighs. “Although it is a bit sad that we weren’t close as children, but I guess it doesn’t matter. As Shinkai-senpai said, it’s the you from “now” that I want to thank, right? You’ve helped me to build many special memories while we’re in Yumenosaki, and I’m still grateful for that.”  
  
A pause, and Anzu furrows her brows as she realises. “Unless… do you still want to be friends?”

Mikejima-senpai just looks at her, stunned, but then he bursts out laughing. “You’re a really interesting girl, Anzu-san! I don’t know _you_ would want to, but…yes” he continues softer, wiping away his tears, “I would still love to be your friend.”

Anzu smiles back, and opens her arms for a hug, which Mikejima gladly takes up, even picking her up and spinning her around in the process.

“Oi! Oiiiii!! You’re hugging too tight!”

“Sorry, sorry~” laughs Mikejima, gently setting her down, but he doesn’t break the hug, leaning there for a moment. “And thank you, Anzu-san. I’m really sorry for lying to you.”

“Mmmm. I forgive you.”

Reluctantly, Anzu squirms away from the hug. “We can still make it for your performance, but we will need to rush.”

“No problem!” booms Mikejima-senpai, deftly picking her up with one arm. “It’s time for Super Express Mama No.1 to go into action again! To Yumenosaki...☆”

And off they go, Anzu holding on to his shoulders for her dear life.

 

* * *

 

There are more familiar faces in the audience than he expected, as he goes up on stage. He can see Adonis and Arashi, their faces lighting up in excitement as Mitsuru hops eagerly beside them, and Kuro, not far off, whose arms are crossed but his mouth shows a smile. He can see Rei, clearly exhausted from his earlier live as he leans against Kaoru, and both of them give him a wave as their eyes meet. He can see Leo, eyes red from goodness knows what happened with Knights, but he’s waving a fan with MaM’s symbol on it happily, and Izumi ready beside him with pen and paper in hand. He can even see Ryuseitai, each of them waving multi-coloured glow sticks, Chiaki fitting 5 in each hand somehow and Kanata looking much happier than expected to see him on stage, and it warms his heart.

And of course, he can see Anzu with the technical crew, giving him a thumbs art to know that he can start. Madara clutches at the collar of his live outfit, made by Anzu, and takes a moment to take the stage that she had organised, just for him.

And he realises, he is not alone after all. That he doesn’t have to be. That there are people still there for him despite his flaws, making time for him despite _their_ own troubles. That he has friends, friends that he may have hurt but they are ready to forgive, if only he would forgive himself. That it’s never too late to start anew, to try and close this distance that didn’t need to be there.

And so he sings.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Happy Birthday Madara, slightly belated bcos this ended up being twice as long as I planned! Good grief. Also I want to shake Happyele for creating such a complicated Dreamfes system that changes every event (cant they just. perform normally. sobs.) I tried to keep this as canon compliant as possible but I have only one(1) braincell and not enough time to reread every single repaymentfes event so! MaM Repaymentfes is probably gonna come up and render everything here into AU anyway lmao, but I wanted to get this out here, bcos Let Mama Be Happy, yknow
> 
> twitter @spacetier where I sigh at Billiards Madara coming at the one time it'll actually be BAD for his 5* to appear (and I've been waiting for months!) and also not coming home to my account. such is life.


End file.
